How Did I Get To Be This Weight : Part Six?

When I met my husband it was like every thing was better. It seemed like all of creation was telling me he was The One. We spent a lot of time together and ate a lot of junk food. During this time I also went back to finish my degree so meals were pretty much caught on the fly.

I was fat but happy.   I was complacent about my weight all the way up until a year into our marriage when we wanted to start having babies. I wasn't getting pregnant so I went to the doctor to find out why.

The answer that came back rocked me to my foundation. I had a double whammy of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and Diabetes.

For five years I refused to accept my diagnosis and then my car accident happened. I broke my back, hips, pelvis, ribs, and crushed my left arm. I was in a coma for 3 weeks. When I woke up they put me on percocet for pain. Even with it the pain was unbearable. The percocets also made it so I couldn't go to the bathroom or eat without feeling ill.  I lost a lot of weight but gained it all back as I healed.

In the next few years I ate out of anger. I was angry that my life had changed and was showing signs of deep depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was affecting my marriage so as afraid as I was of doctors I felt that I needed desperately to see one.

I was put on diabetes meds and antidepressants. My husband was put on antidepressants too . Things got much better in our marriage and I began to lose weight because of my diabetes meds but it didn't stay off.

So I tried Great Watcher's again. It's an excellent program, I believe that it works but the points system changed and I had a difficult time adjusting and I needed to make a change. I was spinning my wheels in the dirt. So we're back to where I am now: combining what I've learned in Great Watcher's and counting calories with Lose It.

I've learned from writing my story that the reasons I am over weight are like the many layers of an onion: comfort, being sedentary, rebellion, safety, complacency, anger. Trauma and an inability to face what happened to me. These are just a few of the reasons of how I got to be this heavy. But it's my story and it is uniquely me.